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ArJewTino

“Latins are tenderly enthusiastic. In Brazil, they throw flowers at you. In Argentina, they throw themselves." -- Marlene Dietrich

Anyone see a drunk driver last night? He owes me $1,000

After a fun night of duckpin bowling with friends Saturday night (more to come on that later), I was driving home from White Oak, MD, when some fuckwad in a white car swipes me on my right side. I take control of the wheel, honk for him to stop, and start thinking about exchanging insurance information.

Then the guy takes off. I don’t mean starts to drive fast. I mean Road Runner, bat out of hell, Aladdin on his magic carpet ride FAST.

I flash my brights and start chasing him down New Hampshire Ave at 1am but The Princess’ Honda Accord, practically powered by steroid-infused hamsters under the hood, gets left in the dust – even though I had a spoiler.

I pull over, call 911, and wait for Maryland’s finest to come. I wasn’t able to get the guy’s license plate number and so the officer had nothing to go on except my description of the car, which was white and had MD plates. I always told myself that if I was ever in such a situation to MEMORIZE THE PLATE NUMBERS. But I guess I was too concerned with saving my life. My bad.

Still, as I recreated the scene in my head over the next couple of hours, I realized that he had been in the left turn lane with me a minute before so he must have come out of the bowling alley himself. He was drunk, since there was no way he would have hit me on a straightaway, wide-laned road. He was swerving even after he hit me, but had the wherewithal to leave the scene of the crime.

It could have been worse. I was physically fine but the car’s right rear door was scratched and dented. Fixing it will probably cost $500-$1,000, but it’s drivable.

So if anyone sees a white car with MD plates and a dented left side (with dark-green scratches), do what I didn’t do. Get the plate number.
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