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ArJewTino

“Latins are tenderly enthusiastic. In Brazil, they throw flowers at you. In Argentina, they throw themselves." -- Marlene Dietrich

Don’t let the exit interview kick you on the way out

After 3 ½ years as a contractor for the FAA, today is my last day as I move on next week to the glamorous, high-stakes world of Federal employment. Bankers’ hours, 17 daily coffee breaks, and counting down the days until retirement await me. I’ll still be technical writing, but this time for a new FAA organization that deals with air traffic safety oversight. (I could not have timed this any better, one week after the Kentucky crash over the weekend that killed 49 people.)

At my exit interview yesterday (I think HR called it a “termination outtake” or something Dilbertish like that), I expected my HR director to get down on her knees and beg me to stay. Perhaps an offer of doubling my salary or giving me the keys to some executive washroom. But no. Instead, she processed my “outtake”, had me sign some papers, and that was that. I have to say, though, I was highly amused by the inspirational Successories calendar tacked above her desk; August, by the way, was all about “Character”.

And if I thought I would have a nice, easy workday today, I had another think coming. Transferring everything you’ve worked on for the past few years to your successor is more taxing than you’d expect. Still, my desk is now a clean canvas and my co-workers did take me out to lunch to Fado, an Irish-style restaurant in Chinatown that I used to frequent on Thursday nights to watch live music. I ordered the Irish Breakfast and managed to ward off pleas of “Speech! Speech!”

I may be gregarious in social situations but I CANNOT stand in front of ANYONE and make a speech. My lips get dry, my tongue feels like it’s swelling, and I start to shake. Probably goes back to 10th grade when I gave an oral book report on The Natural and Mr. Sanchez, in front of the entire class, accused me of not reading the book. Maybe that’s because I hadn’t read it and my report was based on the movie, where Robert Redford DOESN’T strike out at the end.

Anyway, in a few hours I’m off to enjoy my four-day weekend of doing nothing before I start my career as a green-badger (Fed) on Tuesday. I’ll get to join the FAA gym for free; I’ll be able to look down my nose at contractors; and, perhaps most importantly, I’ll get to sit back and relax, content in the knowledge that all your tax dollars are paying my salary.

Arjewtino Notes:

My kickball team, Captain McDreamy and the Rainbow Coalition, won our first game of the season Tuesday evening, 7-2, wearing tie-dyed shirts and demoralizing our opponents at flip cup with a clean sweep. We have several cool, new players this season and we’re playing in the new NAKID league. The first night was a long, drunken one for many of us and there were many photos documenting the debauchery.

Still getting a lot of blog love due to my Wonkette mention this week. I feel like I’m becoming a part of the blogging community, which, as soon as I wrote that, realized how geeky it made me sound. I don’t care. This blog is my creative outlet, my writing habit, my break from editing technical directives on aviation safety.

Coming next week: Arjewtino and The Princess open a joint checking account! Hilarity ensues!!
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