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“Latins are tenderly enthusiastic. In Brazil, they throw flowers at you. In Argentina, they throw themselves." -- Marlene Dietrich

If Satan and Eve had had this much trouble in Eden, we’d still be living in Paradise

As many of you know, I recently moved in with The Princess. This arrangement is new to both of us and, as expected, has led to some strange communication experiences and “figuring each other out” moments. The following is a conversation we had Wednesday evening while The Princess was in the kitchen and my fat ass was on the couch watching TV:

The Princess: Are you going to eat this apple?
Ar-Jew-Tino: What apple?
The Princess: This apple on the counter.
Ar-Jew-Tino: It’s not mine.
The Princess: But do you want it?
Ar-Jew-Tino: I didn’t get the apple.
The Princess: I know, but are you going to eat it?
Ar-Jew-Tino: When? Now?
The Princess: Are you EVER going to eat it?
Ar-Jew-Tino: Maybe, but I didn’t even know we had apples.
The Princess: So do you want it?

— at this point, she comes to the couch to show me the apple —

Ar-Jew-Tino: That’s definitely not my apple.
The Princess: I don’t care if it’s your apple, DO YOU WANT IT?
Ar-Jew-Tino: I don’t want it.
The Princess: I’m throwing it away, then.
Ar-Jew-Tino: Why would you throw away an apple? Someone might eat it.
The Princess: Are you going to eat it?
Ar-Jew-Tino: No, it’s not mine.

I find this whole “Men are from Neptune, Women are from Jupiter” argument pretty trite and oversimplified; sometimes, though, we might as well be from different planets.
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