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ArJewTino

“Latins are tenderly enthusiastic. In Brazil, they throw flowers at you. In Argentina, they throw themselves." -- Marlene Dietrich

Wanna bet?

I am not the savviest bettor (despite my obvious financial acumen).

Nearly six years ago, I bet Tits McGee that if he bought an Orange Julius from my hometown shopping mall (Fallbrook Mall in Woodland Hills) during his business trip to LA, I would jump in the C&O Canal.

I never anticipated I could lose the one-way bet. I also never anticipated that once Tits got to LA, his whole project would be cancelled and he would have two days to kill in a rented car. AND I never anticipated that he would make a hilarious video of himself driving around the Valley, asking people on the street if they knew me, and finally finding the very same Orange Julius I used to go to during my 15-minute breaks while working in Sears’s hardware department.

So I probably shouldn’t have made the bet I made with The Princess this week.

She told me she had been sort of irregular with her pill-taking lately, to which I responded, “How hard can it be to remember to take one pill a day?”

“Harder than you think,” she said.

“Right, I’m sure it’s tough.”

“You try it, you couldn’t do it.”

“I bet I could.”

Ah, there it was. The word “bet” leaving my mouth so effortlessly. The masculine need to prove to others that I am perfectly capable of performing any – ANY -- challenge. I “bet” I could bicycle down that steep ramp, I said when I was 8, moments before crashing. I “bet” I could drink more tequila than you, I told a friend at a college party, shortly before taking 13 straight shots (we tied).

In some ways, that confidence – no matter how misguided it might be – has served me well. It’s driven me to achieve so much in my life.

But sometimes, like the bet about the Orange Julius, I fail to see the irrational and often stupid ramifications of my ante.

But taking one measly pill every day for four weeks? Come on, it was cake. The Princess and I established that I would have to take one Vitamin C tablet every day. The stakes are private and unbloggable. I don’t see how I can’t win.

Oh, and the infamous C&O Canal outcome? Let’s just say I had to take three showers that night.

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